Yesterday morning was painful to say the least. The alarm on my phone went off too soon and it felt like I just laid my head down upon my pillow to fall asleep. I rolled myself out of bed, cursing work under my breath, and drug my sleepy self to the shower.
This is a very normal routine for me. Wake up, damn the work world, stumble towards the shower half blind and turn on the water. Little did I know my routine would be changed drastically and I would forever be scarred by the events of that morning.
I was performing the typical rinse, lather and repeat motions when something caught the corner of my eye. Through the pouring water from the shower head I looked to my right and saw what looked like the hand of Satan himself- or Freddy Krueger's fingers (To-MAE-to, To-MAH-to). There it was, between the shower curtain and the clear plastic curtain that helps block the water from pouring out into the bathroom, the biggest spider I have seen since living in Utah. Now to make matters worse, the thing was definitely alive and crawling down towards the bottom of the curtain...
*NOTE* it is a well known fact that I HATE things with more than four legs, or things with tales as long as their bodies (i.e. rats)... now I especially hate it when these alleged creatures start to move with all their legs- it makes me want to to throw up.
So what did I do? Scream? Damn right I did. Try to smack it? Seemed like the right thing to do- WRONG. The crazy demon ran down faster than a bat out of hell (with its eight... 8... ocho... legs) and started to attack! Quickly I moved out of the shower without the greatest of ease- okay I will admit, I practically fell out causing water to go everywhere. In a panic I ran into my room, soaking every place I stepped.
Since I feared for my life, I did not venture back to the area of the shower... but my roommate did. I heard her say "ohhhhh there is a huge spider right there!" I quickly threw my brown havianna flip flop at her (just one...) and ran for it! Now, what really happened during that time, I will never know because I was out in the living room having an asthma attack.
Do we know if The Dark Lord is dead? No. There has been no sign of He Who Shall Not Be Named, but that doesn't mean he isn't off gathering an army of eight legged demons to come and seek revenge for our attack....
I am currently processing my will because I know I will not survive this battle...
Peace be with you.
shoulda used Avada Kadavra on that biznatch. Works every time.... well, so ive heard..... ;-)
ReplyDelete