Onions have layers.

Onions. They have layers. They make me cry. They add flavor to life. Onions.

Onions is going to be my random symbol for emotions.

Emotions. They have layers. They make me cry. They add flavors to life. Emotions.

You know how you have to peel an onion, each layer, to get to the heart of the matter? To see where the whole thing stems from? You have to do that with emotions too.

I had a break through this evening. You know how in cartoons that light bulb just magically clicks on when someone makes a connection or has an idea? Pretty sure mine turned on and was as bright as a spot light shining down from a UFO.

The thing that baffles me the most is I had no idea that a certain, particular situation that deals with a certain, particular person -who must not be named for the sake of making sure he/she is not disliked (more than they already are) for their mistakes/actions/wrong doings towards myself- is in fact the stem, the deepest layer if you will, for some of my current feelings on situations that are going on my life right now.

This past situation has done more damage than I thought and I guess I have more healing to do. My faith in people has dwindled a bit this past year- and unfortunately I have become defensive, layered, closed off emotionally to those who I care the most for. I have also started to take things personally, and at first I wasn't able to figure out why the hell I was being so darn sensitive. BUT once i peeled back the layer a little bit of the onion I call my soul, I have realized that it stems from the fact that I have not fully healed from the past 8 months.

I am sure the more layers I peel, the more realizations will come and most likely tears too... but hey at least my onion of emotion adds flavor to my life right?

So now what? What do I do with this new found knowledge? Especially when its not new, its old and is like a disease. Keeps poppin up in different areas, different forms. I wish there was a pill I could get to heal this, but I think the medicine is going to be simple. Forgiveness, love and faith.